High Experienced (1-10): 10. Let’s just say I was high enough that I convinced myself that I totally understood what Jackson Pollock was going for.
Getting high and creating art is one of the dopest activities in existence. But just because you enjoy creating art doesn’t mean looking at art is always a worthwhile experience. I recently got high and explored my city’s museum of art to determine if these bastions of culture are as fine as the blunts and joints of Bubba Kush I rolled. To assess their worthiness, I measured my visit against the follow criteria:
- Is this a serene environment?
- Am I bored as hell?
- Did I leave inspired to create art?
Art museums are definitely a chill environment because everyone’s in there pretending like they understand any of the things they’re looking at. But we don’t. No one does. But that doesn’t matter, as long as there’s no one blowing your high with excessive movement or loud noise. It’s pretty much the exact opposite of the aquarium.
For some reason people act like museums are libraries or some silent convent. I had someone ask if I knew where the restrooms were but they whispered it like talking too loud about peeing was forbidden by law. Don’t get me wrong, though, I enjoyed the quiet solitude. Silence is my favorite sound, especially when I’m so high that my face is melting like Salvador Dali’s clocks.
How Bored Will You Be?
I went into this expecting to come out with a bunch of jokes about how boring art museums are, but man, I had an absolute blast. I can’t even tell you why, but walking around and seeing art from all over the world, including 16-18th century European oil paintings, Egyptian statues and coffins, an entire African art gallery, and various other exhibits, had the same effect on me as playing pick-up basketball. I walked out thinking, “Wow, that was dope, can’t wait to do it again.” They even had an entire room dedicated to the art of making cocktails and how it’s evolved over time. (Unfortunately, you can’t use the art to make margaritas if you bring your own tequila and mix. I asked.)
Will You Be Inspired to Create Your Own Art?
The most important result of visiting an art museum was how inspired I felt while walking through it. If you’re dealing with any sort of creative block, an art museum is definitely a great place to walk around, soak up inspiration, and ponder ideas. I was in such awe of some of the paintings (Claude Monet was a BEAST) that I decided I needed to get back into the visual arts and dust off the good ol’ sketchbook.
I’d been dealing with a bit of writer’s block for the past couple of weeks, but for some reason that museum trip was the cure for it and I’ve been punching out words like crazy. Also, there was this statue of Aphrodite that was so amazing I almost started tearing up. Maybe it was because the art was so beautiful, or perhaps it was because I was so high that my emotions started making their own decisions. Either way, I soaked up all of the inspirational vibe and now I’m ready to come for Picasso’s crown.
Are Art Museums Worth the High?
Considering the chill environment that’ll ease all the stresses in your body, the fact that I had genuine fun looking at everything, and how I felt so inspired that I was able to end a weeks-long battle with writer’s block, I’d say yes. Art museums are absolutely worth the high, and you should visit one this weekend.