Welcome to “Is It Worth the High?”, where our writers see newly released movies, listen to the latest album drops, and try other experiences while high to determine whether they’re worth your time, money, and most importantly, your cannabis buzz. This week, Dante Jordan tests out a free activity that’s similar to Bingo, only you fill in your card by watching crowds of people to see if any of your squares match up with what you’re noticing nearby. (While totally stoned, of course.)
Products Enjoyed: A big ol’ perfectly rolled joint of some Master OG
High experienced (1-10): A 10 at the beginning that lowered to a 6.7 by the end
Alright, so I’ve been pushing the limits and trying to think outside of the box on what could be super fun to do while stoned. My most recent find? People-Watching Bingo. It’s basically Bingo, but instead of the card being filled with numbers, it consists of random types of people (or animals) you might find in public. It’s intriguing, it’s silly, it’s different…but is it worth the high?
The Rules for People-Watching Bingo
The rules of People-Watching Bingo are pretty simple (for detailed information about the game, check out the official website: PeopleWatchingBingo.com). Basically, you and no more than four players (because the goal is to be discreet, and 52 people at a table staring aimlessly for a half-hour draws a lot of attention) go to a highly populated place, like the mall or an outdoor event, and scope strangers. Once you see a person that matches one of your PWBingo squares—like, say, someone with a rat-tail—you call them out to the other players for verification, and then you all mark your PWBingo card accordingly. Chances are y’all will see the same people, but it won’t matter because all of the PWBingo cards are arranged differently.
You have to play the game in a seated area and aren’t allowed to wander around—once you’ve sat down and begun your game, you’re not allowed to move or change the arena until the round is complete. This is why it’s so crucial to pick a highly populated place with a position that enables you a maximum vantage point of as many people of possible.
In addition to the above rules, each player is also allowed one “WTF Square,” which is basically a free square that can be used at the player’s leisure (as long as it’s not for a game-winning square). The “WTF Square” is used when you see a type of person who isn’t described on your board and think, “WTF, yo, they should DEFINITELY be on the board.”
Two of my friends and I ventured out to the local shopping mall to play a round of People-Watching Bingo. (We were actually there looking for shoes, but figured this was a great time to get a round of PWB in.) We posted up in front of the Auntie Anne’s because the tables are right against a rail that gives you a view of pretty much the whole mall. Next, we took screenshots of our Bingo cards and used the iPhone’s Markup feature to X off squares as we saw people.
The game started out a bit slow as there weren’t many aesthetically unique people at the mall, but suddenly they just started rolling by. I called out a crazy facial hair person who was rocking the Mr. Scrooge chops. My boy Drew called out a person in a wheelchair (with some very fire Jordan IIIs on), then Allison called out a mall cop in his Paul Blart shit.
However, we soon found that it was pretty difficult to play an entire game in one spot. Eventually it becomes pretty limiting, so after about 30 minutes we decided to make our own rules and walk around. After an additional 30 minutes we’d identified four more people on the PWBingo cards, but still no one hit Bingo and won the game.
Ultimately, we all agreed that this was going to take way too long, so instead of finishing the game, we chose to leave the mall, go smoke some more, and then head out for some brisket, queso, and chicken enchiladas. Turns out People-Watching Bingo is a lot more tedious than it sounds.
Is People-Watching Bingo Worth the High?
Nah. In fact, it’s exhausting and will take an extreme toll on your patience. In my opinion, it’ll be a complete waste of your high because although the game is entertaining for a brief stretch, it really just encourages you to talk shit about random strangers for no reason. It’s basically Twitter in real life.
If you’re looking for a fun activity to do while stoned, go ahead and skip over this one.