So what do you do when you’re out in these streets on a stoney adventure and you’ve accidentally gotten way too high to get yourself home? Do you walk? Nah, too far. Do you hit up public transit? Nah, it’ll take too long. Do you hit up a friend to come swoop you? Nah, they’ll make fun of you for making rookie mistakes with your THC intake.
The answer is simple: you take a Lyft, of course. It’ll give you the chance to sit back and not only gain control of your high, but also your life in general. But are Lyft rides, as a general activity, worth your high? If they’re like the rides I took in Portland, they very well may be.
Products Enjoyed: Joints on joints of Dawgy Treats and Opulent OG
High Experienced (1-10): All of it
I usually treat my Lyft drivers like social pariahs who should not ever mutter a single word to me, but the ones in Portland give off such good energy, it’s hard to not enjoy their company. These people were so nice and most of them also acted as temporary tour guides by dishing out all kinds of Portland facts and activity suggestions. I’m talking dispensaries to hit up, best places to go out and hike, which food carts I need to try, even the best places to get drunk and find a mistake to wake up to. They knew any-and-everything that I’d have to sift through 457 Google searches to find. But not only did they have the you-should-go-and-sees on deck, they all also provided ya boy with some Grade A, FDA-approved, non-GMO conversations.
Catch the right Lyft driver and the whole ride can turn into a much-needed therapy session of sorts.
Take my dude Alejandro, for example. As soon as I got the confirmed ride and saw his picture, I was like, “This dude is definitely pulling up rocking a fedora and some Jack Purcells, I just know it.” Did he? You’re damn right he did. Upon getting in his car, I immediately apologized for reeking of cannabis and he was all, “No worries, man, it’s Portland, everyone smells like weed.”
He asked what I did, I told him I was doing some stuff for Leafly, and it all snowballed into a conversation about how I was trying to decide where on the West Coast I wanted to move. He hit me with a wildly inspiring conversation about how he moved out to Portland 13 years ago on a whim. It turned out to be the best decision he’d ever made and that I should go for the things I want in the places I want, but just make sure that I have a real plan for it.
I was like, “Dad?” I got out of that car feeling like I just experienced a scene from Collateral Beauty or some shit. Am I Will Smith? Am I Howard Inlet? Catch the right Lyft driver and the whole ride can turn into a much-needed therapy session of sorts.
In addition to the conversations you catch from the drivers out there, the views you see from the comfort of a backseat are insaaaane….in the membrane…INSANE IN THE BRAIN. I’m talking all kinds of trees and water under the glow of mesmerizing sunlight. Yeah. That real Instagram shit. I was like, “Wow, this is a real place on Earth where real people live real lives.” It’s hard to not get introspective when you come from a place where everything is flat and boring. Head out to Portland if you get a chance. You will not regret the decision.
Are They Worth the High? If they’re like the rides I’ve had in most cities—where the driver is forcing me into uninspiring small talk, the music I’m being subjected to is garbage, and there’s nothing to look at but views of traffic and flatlands—then nah, Lyft rides probably are not worth your high.
But if the rides are like those I experienced in Portland—where the drivers provide you with top-notch dispensary and food/drink suggestions, as well as hit you with conversation so inspiring that you temporarily consider getting your life together, combined with beautiful scenic views that damn near make you cry—then yes, oh yes, Lyft rides are definitely worth the high.