Products Enjoyed: 7 rips of the G-Pen, Cherry Pie
High Experienced (1-10): 8 (that oil gets you gone).
When’s the last time you played a round of miniature golf? It’s been a while, right? Mini golf is one of those activities that you completely forget about until it randomly appears in the first act of a Judd Apatow romantic comedy.
A few weeks ago, I played a round of putt-putt with my parents for my dad’s birthday. Was I high? Absolutely. Was it worth it? Let’s discuss.
All in the Family
When mom first pitched me the idea of playing miniature golf for my dad’s birthday, I was like “ehhh, this sounds pretty wack.” But it wasn’t my day, so I said, “hell yeah, let’s do it anyway.” Sometimes being a son means doing things you don’t enjoy because it pleases your parents. Knowing that I might have to fall into my fake-fun character, I naturally got extremely high before the event.
Several full-lunged G-Pen
rips of the Cherry Pie oil had ya boy feeling like Elroy Jetson.
Upon arrival, I quickly realized that this entire experience might be some bullshit. What I thought would be one of those Chuck E. Cheese/Celebration Station type businesses that specialize in family-friendly fun turned out to be one of those places in a rundown shopping mall that used to be a Hibbett Sports, but now it’s a candy store or—in my case—Lunar Mini Golf.
This what happens when your mom gets all of her ideas from Yelp.
Bonding Over Elevated Expectations
We pay, get our clubs, and set off on this family adventure. The first hole is cool and surprisingly fun—it opens my mind to the idea of this actually being a good time. (Plus being high as hell in a glow-in-the-dark room brought about a certain calm/feel-good energy that I can’t really explain.) By hole four, I’m all the way in: Lunar Mini Golf, is an absolute blast.
The only thing that matters is proving that you’re king (or queen) of the course.
Putt-putt is fun for a plethora of reasons. For one, it has an odd way of drawing you in because you start out not caring, but after a few holes, the only thing that matters is proving that you’re king (or queen) of the course. For two, miniature golf is a game that no one’s really that good at, so it quickly becomes incredibly competitive. This leads to a healthy amount of shit-talk and loud celebrations—something vital to all group gaming situations. In addition to bringing out everyone’s natural competitor, it also has a weird way of being a great group-bonding activity.
Is It Worth the High?
You won’t be stressing about the score or missing “easy shots” like you would in a regular golf match. Also, if you’ve been smoking a strain that’s good for productivity, your high may help you focus on your putts. I was laughing and joking around while playing, but for the few seconds that I had to focus on putting that ball in the hole, being high helped me channel Tiger Woods.
So we ask: is miniature golf worth the high? Yeah, for sure. It’s a hell of a time. It’s relatively cheap, it won’t take up too much of your time, and it’s a perfect activity for small groups. If you’re looking for a new, fun activity to do while high, look no further than a round of stony putt-putt.