Why is cannabis not legal everywhere? I mean, seriously, what are we doing here? What are we trying to prove? Why am I still purchasing the classic way when I could be walking into Have a Heart with a wheelbarrow like “Load it up, I’ll take it from there”?
Let me tell you what I saw when I was in Seattle (which I’m hoping is the case in all legal cities):
You can seriously just walk around outside, blowing smoke to the heavens without a care in the world. No one’s going to hit you with the This Fuckin’ Guy side-eye, nor will the cops run up and slam your head into the pavement while yelling “STOP RESISTING!” It’s incredible. I know public consumption is illegal so I won’t endorse it, but I’m just saying…If you’re in Seattle, Denver, Portland, etc., a walk ‘n toke probably won’t be a huge problem for you. Legal cities are the utopias they chased in the movie Antz.
I was at a Mexican restaurant sipping top-notch margaritas for bottom-notch prices, and I watched a man pull out a jar of cannabis and a sack of tobacco, then twist up a spliff right next to a plate of pork carnitas tacos. And no one said a thing. It was almost as if this type of power move was expected. Shit had me so frazzled in disbelief that I accidentally knocked over one of the margaritas on the table. I hadn’t committed a party foul like that since 2010.
You know how you know something’s one way, but you still need to see it to believe it for yourself? That’s how the dispensary experiences goes. You know you can walk in and scoop a pre-rolled joint like a pack of M&Ms from 7-Eleven, but it’s different once you actually do it.
But even more than that, the selection of goodies at your disposal is what really blows your mind. I walked into Have a Heart in Belltown, saw six glass cases full of flower, concentrates, edibles, etc., and my whole body almost melted into a puddle of disbelief.
I came back home, just laying in bed and staring at the ceiling, like “Wow…I really can’t go scoop a two-pack of pre-rolled Artizen Blue Dream joints for $10 right now.” Instead, I just have to take what’s given to me with a smile. It doesn’t have to be like this, America. It doesn’t have to be like this.
There were multiple times during my trip where I’d just be chillin’ and someone would pop up and ask, “Hey, you want to smoke?” I call them “straingers,” because they’re random people who still let you smoke with them for no particular reason. In places where cannabis is not legal, people aren’t going to approach you like that. But out in a legal city, it’s wild.
Everyone out there has their own special device, whether it be a pre-roll, a vape pen, or some sort of other contraption that’s completely legal, and if you’re close enough to them when they start smoking, you’ll definitely be offered a few hits. There was even a point where I found myself in one of the greatest smoke circles that had ever existed, just because I was standing there. I’m talking 30-40 people under a single tent, with like 50+ joints going around. If power-smoking ever becomes an Olympic sport, just send everyone that was under that tent over, and we’ll bring back gold for the home team.
This is most important: no one’s trippin on if you smoke or not. You’re not going light up a joint and have someone run up and say you’re ruining your life, or that a single hit off the joint is going to lead to a heroin addiction.
Everyone in illegal cities knows that feeling of not even wanting to tell people you smoke. You don’t want to get trapped in an ignorant conversation with an unjustifiably judgmental person who thinks just because you like to get stoned and watch movies, that means your life is in complete disarray. People in illegal cities really act like you can’t smoke and still handle your responsibilities as an adult. I’m smoking a blunt right now while paying my electric bill weeks before it’s even due.
But that’s not the case in legal cities. Instead, you can really just be 100% yourself 100% of the time, and not a single person is going to stress you about it. Even if they don’t smoke, they’re going to let you live your life.
Moral of the story: I’m definitely moving soon.