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Pot Poseurs: 5 Products That Wish They Were Cannabis

September 4, 2013

Now that cannabis has come out of the closet, everyone seems to be jumping onto the green bandwagon. In the past few years, many non-cannabis companies have began to use cannaculture in marketing techniques. From sandwiches to perfume, cannabis is making an appearance in all types of consumer goods.

Take a look at these wannabe cannabis products trying for their 15 minutes of fame:

1. Mary Jane's Relaxing Soda

The “Mary Jane” in this soda made by The Relaxing Company sure isn’t the same stuff that we cannabis users have come to love. This knock-off uses kava root and passion flower to calm the nerves. Using rhetoric similar to that found in reviews of medicinal cannabis, Mary Jane’s is described as an “all-natural soft drink that delivers euphoric relaxation and focus to a stress-filled life.” An interesting product, but I doubt Blue Dream should feel threatened any time soon.

2. Cheba Hut

Cheba Hut “Toasted” Subs has popped up in seven U.S. cannabis-friendly regions. This homage to “stoner” culture features strain-themed sandwiches such as the “White Widow” and “Train Wreck.” Sandwiches come in three different sizes: “nugs,” “pinners,” and “blunts.” So far, Cheba Hut has seen much success near college campuses and in San Diego.

3. Guayaki Yerba Mate

In order to make their canned Yerba Mate more mainstream and popular, Guayaki enlisted the help of a Seattle advertising company called Egg Branding. To meet their client’s demand for increased tea sales, Egg decided to play on the cannabis “drug culture” with their tagline “Legalize It.” While, to my knowledge, tea has never been illegal in the United States (though it was quite the nuisance during the Boston Tea Party), Egg put out these advertisements right as Washington and Colorado were pushing legalization initiatives. The timing proved to be quite profitable, as Guayaki outsold the market control by 700%.

4. Malin + Goetz Cannabis Votive Candle

Though cannabis is typically known for its pungent, skunky aroma, Malin+Goetz have tried to give the herb some sophisticated sex appeal. Drawing attention to cannabis’ sensual side, this candle “sythesiz[es] sexy green cannabis and spicy extracts for their uplifting intoxicating” aromatic effects. Like other products on this list, the cannacandle plays on the exotic, intoxicating counter-culture appeal the real substance has had for generations.

5. Fresh Cannabis Santal Perfume

Similarly to Malin+Goetz’s candle, this perfume by Fresh uses the herb to market high-end sex appeal. Described as masculine and sensual, the fragrance uses ingredients such as kumquat, plum, magnolia, and chocolate to create an herbal aroma. While Cannabis Santal has a pleasant scent, its natural, woody aroma doesn’t quite compare to the true uniqueness of the cannabis flower.

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