J........s

I walked into my local Prop 215 compliant dispensary looking for a good remedy to my spasticity, pain, and eye pressure. The thug behind the counter eyed me with an empty gaze as I walked through the door and barked over to me, "what do you need?". I was quite startled and simply asked for some medicine to ease my pain and discomfort. He looked over his wares momentarily and procured a brown bag marked "white widow". I hesitated momentarily then purchased my medicine. As I entered my vehicle I noticed a strange odor emanating from the paper bag. The scented resembled what I can only describe as a mix between vomit and freshly deceased skunk. I shrugged and went on my way. Back at home, I rolled a large "joint" of white widow and proceeded to take 3 large puffs. As I exhaled the third puff I began coughing, which only accentuated my crippling pain. After the coughing fit came to an end after what seemed an eternity, I was left with a strange spinning sensation in my abdomen and lower spinal column. "How peculiar", I remarked as I extinguished the burning cigarette. Not thirty minutes later, I found myself calling everyone who had written their numbers in my old highschool year book. No one answered, but I still felt the need to chat. I phoned my wife who was away on a business trip and explained that my medicine was giving me strange paranoia and that my mouth felt so dry, it was almost as if i had been chewing on cotton balls for the past hour. She laughed and hung up the phone. I don't quite remember the rest of my "trip", but I can say with certainty that "white widow" is NOT the medicine I was looking for unfortunately....