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I grew up as a Reagan baby. Just say no, drink from the hose, all that shit. In Texas. Dammit. I had this whole review I was going to write about this strain but somehow it’s eluded me. Actually everything has eluded me. Like, I could totally go and do some more shit, but I am absolutely fine not doing any shit right now. Also, I think this new “Ripley” series is fucking amazing, just because it’s in black and white, probably. I’m also messing up punctuation, indents and proper paragraph notation. But, because it really doesn’t matter, I give this many fucks right now: 🥦 I was supposed to type “ZERO” but things happened on my phone and then I used my first real emoji ever and it was fucking broccoli? I’m gonna blame it on the eclipse. Shit. I don’t think even Milli Vanilli could lip-sync that song. With that said, almost twenty years or twenty minutes had passed since I hit this. And with THAT said, I’m absolutely okay with it. (My keyboard has defaulted a different language at this point so the rest of this may be hard. But it’s so fine.) I’m wiser, yo. You can be too. Just a little rip. How long do these Netflix previews last? My couch is super-comfortable . I have not given my bed the credit it deserves in matters of performance. Like, it - at the very least - deserves a perfect attendance award. Also, I don’t think I’m afraid of spiders anymore. This shit is great. *This message brought to you by Permanent Marker.*

I should start off by saying that I’m one of the backwards people when it comes to the effects of sativas and indicas. Strong sativas typically throw me into a state of being one thought away from hiding under the closest table because if anyone sees the clothes I’m wearing they’re gonna know I’m higher than giraffe ass. So that’s a kind of couch-lock in itself. Indicas seem to tone down my ADD, and I’m able to function (most of the time) free from anxiety. But this strain right here… I’ve shared it with two other people so far, and the one thing it’s guaranteed to do is put your ass to sleep. I don’t mean like the kind of sleep where you still wake up in the middle of the night to pee, or even adjust your pillow. I’m talking the kind of sleep where you wake up the next morning in the same position you fell asleep in, wondering if Samuel L. Jackson read you a fucking bedtime story, or if you’re at Bill Cosby’s house. Highly recommend.