How to Ask Your Budtender for Sexual Product and Cannabis Strain Recommendations

Published on June 25, 2016 · Last updated July 28, 2020

In my last column, I gave budtenders tips on how to recommend sexual cannabis products to inquisitive customers. Today we’re heading to the other side of the counter and focusing on the customer experience. What’s the best approach to asking a budtender for products and strains that may help provide a sexual boost?

Although it can feel uncomfortable or awkward asking a complete stranger for sexual product recommendations, remember that the budtender may be experiencing the same emotions. Here are some tips to make you both feel comfortable and confident in your transaction.

Obtain Consent


Either call in advance or ask the budtender upon arrival to find out if this is an appropriate space to be asking about sex-related questions. You can also request to speak to the person on staff who’s most comfortable fielding such questions. That way, if the person you’re speaking with isn’t an ideal person for cannabis and sex queries or isn’t in a space to give you support in that area, they can opt out. Everyone deserves the opportunity to opt out of sensitive conversations, and your budtender is no different.

Ask Specific Questions


Be clear on what your needs are so that you can ask specific questions when you’re at the dispensary. Don’t give your back story unless requested. Budtenders are there to provide their expertise in choosing cannabis products to suit your needs. They’re not your therapist, so don’t launch into the long story of how your partner used to want to have sex all the time but then gradually the intimacy in your relationship declined so you’re feeling like needs aren’t being met.

Instead, give them the abridged version: “I want a strain to help my partner and me reconnect intimately,” or “I need something that’s going to help me get out of my head and into my body.” You can share what’s worked for you in the past but you don’t need to get into TMI territory unless you and the budtender are both comfortable with it.

Do Your Research


There’s a lot of really great information out there that may help steer you towards strains and products that are relevant to your needs. I have a list of general sex-positive resources on my website, and many other sex educators do, too. Read books, go to workshops, and utilize as many resources as you can. See if your query is something that can be solved through home study and communication, or if you do want to utilize cannabis to deepen and enhance your sexy fun times.

Don’t be Creepy

Embarrassed woman

Yep, that was my advice for the budtenders, too, but it goes both ways. Don’t walk in and open with, “So which of these strains will turn me into a bang-all-night sex machine?” It’s not cute, it’s not flirty; it’s harassing. Don’t be that person. Sometimes people try to make it a joke to diffuse perceived tension, but I’m here to tell you, it’s unnecessary. I suggest being honest and owning your experience: “It feels really edgy for me to ask you about this, but it would be incredibly helpful if you could point me to a strain/product that’s good for X.”

Do you have a sex, relationships, or intimacy dating question? Send it to and I may address your request in a future article! (Don’t worry, we’ll keep your queries anonymous.)

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Ashley Manta
Ashley Manta
Ashley is a writer, feminist, and sexuality educator. She is a contributing writer for Leafly.
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