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Man Named Blunt Acquitted on Charges of Getting His Chameleon High

A Chicago judge ruled to drop charges against a man named Bruce Blunt who blew cannabis smoke into the face of his pet chameleon.

That’s right. A man named Blunt tried to get his pet chameleon high. It’s so outlandish, it sounds like an Onion article (we assure you it's legit).

The ordeal started when the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) saw a video that Blunt had posted on social media where he was blowing smoke into the face of Binna, his pet chameleon. His actions prompted a complaint and criminal charges.

Blunt argued that the cannabis seemed to help calm the aggressive animal, but medical professionals who were consulted during the trial said that the effect on such a small animal could range from mild sedation to full-blown seizures. Pet owners “think it’s funny, but it’s actually very cruel,” said Dr. Susan Horton, a veterinarian at Chicago Exotic Animals Hospital. Blunt apologized for his behavior, saying that he loves animals and wishes to get his beloved Binna back from Chicago’s Animal Care and Control Center, if not only for his sake, then also for the sake of his daughter.

Apparently, it's necessary to reiterate this very simple Public Service Announcement: please don’t try to get your pets high. Unless your pet suffers from a medical disorder that could potentially be controlled by active cannabinoids and you’ve received the go-ahead from a qualified professional to dispense properly dosed medication to your beloved companion, please, don’t force cannabis onto them. Animals are not capable of giving consent by nature. Their well-being is thrust into the hands of their owners on the premise that their owner will make the best decisions for their health.

The takeaway from this odd story: Even if your chameleon comes slowly walking like an Egyptian up to you and reaching for the joint in your hand, darting its funky little eyes at you as if asking for a turn in the rotation, please, keep the cannabis to your responsible, adult human self.