Allen Wrench

And then there's Allen Wrench. When it comes to the Wrench, don't flail around with grams: go right for an eighter. You'll appreciate the bag of High Times centerfold buds -- compact, rippled with red hairs and powdered with a dusting of white crystals; this is some of da kind that demands your attention. Don't just snap off a bud and cram it in your pipe, you fucking Philistine! No, stop and admire. Breathe in the chemically scent. Give it the ol' pinch-test for density. THEN cram it in your pipe and smoke it! 15 minutes later when you're laughing your ass off at "Action Bronson Watches Ancient Aliens", try to give a fuck about something. Protip: you won't be able to! That's because Allen Wrench absorbs 10,000 times its own weight in fucks! Dinner's three hours late? Don't give a fuck. Car's being re-possessed? Don't give a fuck. Cat's speaking Swahili and your third eye is now projecting Dan Deacon videos? I told you to lay off those bathsalts, motherfucker! Who needs that shit when you've got a miracle like Allen Wrench smouldering in your pipe? Hit that shit quick before it all goes up in smoke! "Waste not the Allen," sayth the dude sitting to your right who has been waiting for you to pass that pipe since you started reading this shit. And do you give a fuck? No? Exactly.

(Very) Novice smoker here. The first time I smoked Allen Wrench, it was a fat joint that put me into a strange, trippy, dissociative state. It was exceedingly bizarre, and probably won't even sound plausible if I wrote about it here. Anyways, I took a shower, crashed, and was fine the next day. I'll chalk that up to being an inexperienced smoker with a super dank strain. The next time I smoked it, I was sure to smoke far less, and damn it was incredible. I'd been procrastinating hard on writing for the past two days, and a joint of Allen Wrench simply put me into an extremely focused, creative, and intellectual state. It was a breeze to blast through all of the work I had in front of me, in an original, creative way. Incredible. I'll forget the past bad experience just because of this. My mouth was dry as the Gobi Desert though.

this strain should come with a warning: not for anyone but the biggest sativa fans. people prone to anxiety may be made uncomfortable by the intensely jittery, mental (as in 'really get into your head') qualities of this strain. in my experience (70+ strains), and being a 'sativa guy' for the most part, I haven't encountered a more energizing, jittery strain. cinex is the closest I've tried, and it's still nowhere near as 'head-y'. assuming you're comfortable with this type of weed, don't have a tendency to think doom-y, paranoid thoughts, and want the equivalent of a triple shot of espresso, this belongs in your tool kit, to be used when you want a serious jolt. this one also seems to be analgesic...