Today is National Talk Like a Pirate Day, a period of 24 hours where it is technically appropriate to grunt, drool, and “yar” your way through a conversation like a bonafide sea rover. Seeing as how we’re owned by Privateer Holdings, we figured we’d get into the marauder spirit and highlight 10 swashbuckling strains that will help ease you into that pirate state of mind.
Without further ado, here are 10 hidden treasures we recommend you (legally) plunder from your nearest dispensary or retail shop. Naturally, each description has been translated into pirate speak, so enjoy, ya filthy landlubbers.
A true treasure indeed, ye won’t have t’ wrangle this indica out o’ an oyster’s gapin’ maw. Dissolve yer seafarin’ stresses wit’ this happy heavy-hitter that delivers strong body-focused effects.
Lookin’ t’ expand yer mind while navigatin’ t’ seas waitin’ for sunrise? This sweet-tastin’ hybrid be a perfect pairin’ for catchin’ a glimpse o’ its celestial counterpart (also known as Sirius), which appears in t’ sky just beferr dawn.
This mellow sativa can deliver t’ lift that’s needed t’ steer yer ship away from jagged rocks or a sandbar. Make aye ye guide yer vessel t’ safety before t’ strong body effects kick in, or ye’ll find yerself hitchin’ a ride wit’ yer crew down t’ Davy Jones’ Locker.
Man overboard! Throw a lifesaver t’ yer mate, then once ye’ve fished Smee out o’ t’ water, bust out this Lifesaver t’ help yer shellshocked bucko relax and feel euphoric after his brush wit’ drownin’.
Land ho! This sativa-dominant hybrid will help ye get yer land legs aft as ye prep yer crew t’ dig their toes into warm sand. When it comes t’ feelin’ happy and euphoric, this strain’s a ‘shore’ thin’.
Yar, this sativa packs a bite! Should ya find yerself fendin’ off a shark attack, celebrate yer victory wit’ this sweet, fruity strain t’ take t’ edge off t’ pain yer feelin’ from t’ area that used t’ be your port leg. (At least you’ll finally be able t’ rock t’ wooden peg look!)
Too much grog in yer belly? Moonshine got’ya feelin’ blue? Sleep off yer hangover with t’ help o’ this potent indica that tastes like blueberries and will relax yer body until t’ rum’s out o’ yer system.
This energizing hybrid be great for socializing, meanin’ when it’s time t’ climb up t’ t’ Crow’s Nest and have yer first mate style yer hair into t’ tried ‘n true nubby pirate ‘do, ye’ll have plenty t’ chat about.
